“Most prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty”
Virginia Satir
The first step is to know your true self in all aspects. That includes mental, physical, spiritual, and in relationship to others. Those who achieve self-knowledge are prepared to choose and follow the “Chung Doe” path. There are two paths in life.
Commentary:
In Korean, the two paths are “Chung Doe”, the good or the right path, and “Pa Doe”, the bad or the wrong path. I've spent hundreds of hours with Grand Master Mike discussing the true meaning. It's my belief that “good vs bad” or “right vs wrong” are too simplistic. To me, the anecdotes tell of a different battle.
Throughout the anecdotes, Chung Doe represents the path of natural selection. It's the most efficient path up the mountain for the strong and well-adapted. It is the path that leads to growth and development. Chung Doe represents the Earned path and will be henceforth referred to as the Earned Path.
“Seeking dopamine without effort will destroy a person”
- Andrew Huberman.
Pa Doe represents the man-made trail of convenience and weakness. It is the path of seeking pleasure or reward without effort. Pa Doe is the path of self-destruction through entitlement. Pa Doe represents entitlement. It will be henceforth referred to as the Entitled Path.
The Earned Path is the way of great mental, physical, and spiritual power. It's the path that adds value to the individual, family, and others. Relationships based on the Earned Path are pure, enduring, and productive. They produce the “good seeds” to leave behind for posterity. The Entitled Path or “Pa Doe” is the bad seed of poor principles. It lives only unto itself without moral principles. You will have the power to choose the path you take. The question becomes: how do you choose?
The answer is by learning to know who you truly are and by following the principles of The Gray Wolf:
Life is a never-ending battle between earned and entitled. You have the power to choose your path and become as great or extraordinary as you want.
You are your own guide. You are your own guard.
The “unseeing” can harm themselves. The “unknowing” can harm others.
Those that see and know are a light to themselves and a beacon to others. They are Gray Wolves.
You are your own mirror and your own light.
The deeper the water, the stronger the purpose.
Stillness is the voice of destiny
Choose your teachers carefully; as they are, you will become.
The challenge of life is: great strength of mind and body in harmony
Windows and Mirrors
Imagine that you know exactly where you want to go. You pull up Google Maps on your phone and enter your desired destination. The app is unable to determine your current location and you're not sure where you are, so you can't enter it. Without an accurate starting location, Google Maps can't help you.
Even the most advanced navigation tools are useless without an accurate starting location. It's the “you are here” sticker on the map. Until you can see where you are, you cannot get to where you want to go.
We must learn to look at ourselves as we would look at others. Imagine looking out a window and seeing everything that you love "out there". Now imagine looking out the same window and seeing everything that you hate "out there". This is the perspective of an Entitled traveler; always looking out the window to see the world. The Earned traveler understands that what seems to be a window is actually a mirror. What we love or hate in others, we actually love or hate about ourselves.
The problems "out there" [the window] are actually problems "in here" [the mirror].
Seeing yourself clearly is like locating the "you are here sticker" on a map. If you do not learn to see yourself, nothing else will work. You have to see yourself and know your nature before you start moving. Otherwise, when you do move you will get lost; creating tremendous uncertainty. The uncertainty will seem to be about the world, but it's actually uncertainty about the self. We are often looking into a mirror and mistaking it for a window. You will never be able to see what is “out there” until you can see yourself.
Those who develop a deep sense of self-knowledge as they follow the Earned path will remain on the course.
Therefore, the first step is to look in the mirror and learn to know your true and pure self.
Why is this important? Those who follow the Earned Path value honor, integrity, loyalty, and compassion. They choose to live their lives accordingly. They consider the consequences to others involved before making any decision. The focus is on building character, confidence, self-esteem, and strength. Earned Path travelers remain strong and display power in their movements and techniques, even past their 70s.
That carries over into their everyday lives creating richness and balance. Power is used to purify family relations, friendships, and daily activities. Leaving Earned seeds behind is a legacy of tight communication, compassion, and integrity. This path makes for a meaningful and successful life, earning the respect of others.
The extreme other end embodies jealousy, egotism, and a lack of positive qualities. It lacks traits such as discipline and stability.
Their troublemaking and selfishness distort reality. They do not know themselves or their potential. Thus, they act in a state of unknowing and disharmony. They make so much noise they, themselves, are deaf to the prompting of reality. Their self-love causes blindness to the light of goodness and service to others. They are drunk with their own small thoughts. Weighed down by their petty self-interests, they leave behind Entitled seeds that produce bad fruit. That is the legacy of the Entitled path.
The True Self is Unassailable
Regardless of the circumstance or what others say of you, you are your true self. No matter how you're judged you are moving onward and upward toward the clear vision of your best self. That is the principle of self. That is the choice of the Earned path.
Travelers along the Entitled Pathway have made a different choice. Instead of seeing themselves, they choose chaos leading nowhere. They stay drunk on their own selfish ideas and blind to their own potential. They are ignorant of the principle that to lose yourself in service to others is to find yourself in a state of joy. Worse, they are unaware that they are unaware. In their unknowing state, they become a danger to themselves and to others.
Those on the entitled pathway are so blinded by their delusion that they demand others to lie to them. Have you ever told a selfish person they are selfish? They will fight tooth and nail not to have to confront looking in the mirror. They will not accept your description of them, only one they have told you to give them. This is the choice of the Entitled path.
Commentary:
Understand that there is only one of you in all of creation. There will never be another you. Knowing yourself, especially the things that make you unique, is your greatest advantage. Don't hide from it, chip way the delusion so that you can use it.
Michelangelo was asked how he sculpted David. He responded:
"I simply removed everything that is not David."
The path to knowing yourself is to find out, first, what you are not. To chip away and remove the things that are not you.
This is why I believ so many life transformations start with fitness. It's much easier to accept physical limitations than other insecurities. A man can easily deny he is selfish, he cannot deny that his hamstrings are tight or that he is out of breath. Physical challenge forces you to acknowledge a delusion about yourself. Acknowledging the delusion puts a small crack in its armor.
This is also one of the hidden powers of sitting and moving meditation. They puts cracks in the armor of delusion
Lesson:
Break the delusion to get to know yourself (current destination)
Get clear on your priorities and what really matters to you. (desired destination)
Resource: Bumpers by Nic Peterson
The Weapon That Is Not A Weapon
Entitled travelers make a choice to fall. Thus, they would have others fall, too. To that end, they deploy their arsenal of secret weapons. This arsenal is made up of night-whispered lies, greedy gossip, and character assassination. They leverage isolation; to protect their delusion they attempt to “cancel” onyone that threatens them by holding up mirror. Their envy, jealousy, and insecurity lead them to seek to destroy the reputation of the Gry Wolf traveler.
The Entitled traveler will also deploy two powerful tyrants: scrutiny and expectation. First, They will scrutinize those on the Earned pathway. Then, when the earned pathway yields a reward, the Entitled will expect their “fair” share.
To the uncertain, these weapons are terrifying. To the self-knowing travelers of the Earned Pathway, these weapon are no weapons at all. The self-knowing human is anchored to the vision of who they truly are. They know where they are, they play their game, and they know the rules. Becoming a self-knowing human makes one unassailable.
Look in the mirror. Get to know your true self. Black wolf or white wolf, it doesn't matter. The path to Gray is understanding of self, first.
Guard your true self.
The Three Guards
Throughout history, extraordinary leaders of strong character have learned how to deflect slander. In the face of malicious rumor-mongering, the Earned Path traveler has three guards:
Clarity - Doing the work and focusing on knowing yourself and playing your game. The fog of calumny and the mists of reproach will not eclipse those that truly know themselves. Seeing the mirror for what it is.
Light - Gather the facts. The winds of rumor and speculation will always blow. Practice the principles of not drawing conclusions absent observable, confirmed facts. Teach others to do the same. Bring light into the situation before making judgments. Confirm before acting on information supplied by others.
Action - Action organizes and informs. Keep moving forward, onward, and upward on the Earned path, no matter what. Refuse to forget who you truly are. You cannot change the fact that life is an ongoing battle between the Earned and the Entitled. But you can choose the Earned path and cultivate Earned seeds.
Preserve honor. Purify relationships. Show children how to live by principles. Show leadership to communities. These are the responsibilities of the Earned path traveler. This all depends on knowing your true self. In the true self, there is great power to ward off the hurtful forces swirling all around us. These forces wither in the face of Earned Path power.
Commentary:
“Most prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty”.
- Virgina Satir
If we are not clear and honest about our true selves we will remain uncertain. We will mistake this confusion for uncertainty about the world around us.
When we are uncertain, we crave certainty. Certainty exists only within ourselves. In a desperate attempt to find it somewhere outside of ourselves, we cling to delusion. A false certainty. This is the “certainty of misery” and leads us down the Entitled path.
The only real certainty is the certainty of self. We must work to break the delusion that the mirror is a window. Seeing ourselves is the only way to walk the earned path. It's our only defense against the Entitled.
Anatomy Of A Gray Wolf Pack
Knowing yourself means knowing yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, and in relationships with others.
Rooted in the principle of continual service, Gray Wolf relationships have a mutual goal. That goal is cultivating a lasting legacy for the family and future generations. The purity of the relationship is essential to this mission.
It is wise to guard against exposing the body to germs, it is also wise to guard what we let enter the relationship. Even the tiniest crack in a relationship will allow toxic elements to enter. The relationship must stay open to new ideas but remain closed to antagonism. We must guard against envy or any influence that generates a lack of togetherness. Earned path travelers practice pure friendship and pure love.
Marriages, friendships, and business relationships often erode. This happens when the parties become misaligned and the harmony fades. A relationship cannot strengthen or recover through willpower or heroic effort. Even a metal rod will break if it’s bent in the same spot too many times. Relationships are similar. There is much pressure from society to strengthen marriages and families. The cause is urgent, but are the voices calling for the correct strategies? Is tightening down with greater force the answer? Should parties seek to please each other, at all costs?
This kind of thinking creates a ticking time bomb.
Only wisdom sustains enduring relationships. True love or friendship is not carefree nor is it closed. To maintain the correct distance the parties do not stand too far away or too close. Too tight and it becomes brittle. Too loose, and other influences can wedge their way in and start their work of destruction. Only a relationship where both parties are self-knowing can obtain harmony. This is the type of bond that can endure.
A Pack Built In The Sand
A relationship built on momentary truth is as likely to endure as a promise written in the sand on a windy day. Many times, people will have deep “reveal it all” conversations.
This gives them the illusion that they have developed lasting trust through transparency. But such truth is not a solid foundation. Such truth can change because it comes from momentary feelings and fleeting thoughts. Thought comes from the mind, and does the mind not change? When truth changes in a human being, another is unaware of the transition into a new momentary truth. How do we defend that? Discovering this after the fact leads to shock, hurt, and anger.
Every human has the ability and right to change their mind. This is why strong relationships are not built on momentary truths.
A relationship built on principle does not erode, it endures because it does not change. Principle is enduring. It makes for a solid mooring for a relationship.
A Gray Wolf Pack is built with a discerning, #wolfish ear. The voice tells all, it is the signature.
The Voice As The Signature Self
Cultivating a pure relationship requires a discerning ear. To choose friendships wisely, The True self listens to the voices of fellow travelers. Every human has three main kinds of voices to listen for:
1. The Voice of The Gray Wolf. Words, tones, and volume that cultivates harmony, balance, respect, and togetherness. The discourse is straight, direct, dignified, and self-effacing. It’s like the deep water of the ocean that forges forward with power and purpose.
2. The Voice of Emptiness. Words, tones, and volume designed only to fill the silence with idle talk, and aimless superficialities. Or to draw attention to the speaker. The strategy is to spend time. The discourse is rambling and shallow like the eddies going nowhere at the end of the stream.
3. The Voice of Entitled. Words, tones, and volume designed to secure specific benefits or advantages to the speaker. The nature of this voice is self-serving. The tone is shrill, boastful, and arrogant. The volume is loud and boisterous. It’s like a mud puddle after a storm, quick, gaudy, and full of garbage.
The Earned Path traveler learns to discern the voices. They form alliances only with those who speak the Gray Wolf language.
Learning to know your true self is the beginning of your journey along the upward-rising Earned pathway. The journey is not without its challenges. Life is a never-ending battle between Earned and Entitled. By knowing yourself and choosing the earned path, you will come to know your great physical, mental, and spiritual strength.
Remember: you can borrow knowledge from another, but you cannot borrow a body, a mind, or a spirit. Those are yours alone to develop through great discipline, resolve, and effort. You can pretend to have balance, vitality, and strength. But these qualities can only be achieved through great effort based on correct principles and knowledge of yourself.
Commentary:
DALA stands for “Don’t Act Like an Asshole” or “Directions for Acting Like and Adult”. It can be found, along with the “Adaptive Dilemma”. Both will help you dial in your discerning mind.
Know yourself.
Guard your true self.
Guard your voice, it is your signature.
Resources:
Audio - Nic Peterson (Spotify)
Audio - Mike Leone (Spotify)
Video - (YouTube)
Join Master Key of Wisdom Live (Free)